Post 25

Introduction:

Looking at my collection of books on my heavily filled bookcase I skim the titles of books that I own. Everything from "The Iliad" to "The Hunger Games" line the shelves. As I read over each title I feel different emotions sweep over my mind. I feel accomplishment at "The Iliad," remembering how I didn't understand a word that Homer was saying when I first picked up the book. But through careful reading, a good teacher and some research of my own I was able to finally understand the book and appreciate its beautiful lyrics. "The Hunger Games" makes me feel so many different emotions. At first disgust, for the sick twisted mind who created the idea for children to fight each other. Then empowered, for this young girl, younger than I, leading a rebellion to stop the madness. Next futility, for all that the main character Katniss went through to ultimately lose what she was fighting for and herself in the process. Finally hopeful, for the future. I come to a small thin book from my childhood. It is shorter than most of my books and the thinnest of all my collection. Just the sight of the distressed ends and the yellowing pages brings back memories of sadness. I feel my heart quicken and my stomach drop as I read the title. Memories of tears of both shock and knowing come back to me at "The Bridge to Terabithia." Just the mere sight almost brings tears to my eyes. But why?

What makes us cry? A question that is subjective to each individual. Some cry out of happiness, some cry out of sadness, some cry out of frustration, and some cry for attention; there are so many reasons that people cry. With these thoughts in mind, I wanted to discover what it is about books, specifically young adult books, that make people cry? What is it about this book that made me so utterly and completely sad causing tears to run down my face? What is it about any book that makes people cry? There are a lot of questions that can be asked and a lot of answers to be discovered by this.

First I will talk about crying. I will start off talking about the mechanics of crying, the scientific side. I feel it is important to understand why humans have this ability to cry and its purpose. Then I will go into what are the reasons that people cry. This relates to emotions, upbringing, religious/cultural values and personal beliefs. Crying is something that is unique to each and every individual. Some cry easily, some don't. Some cry freely, some don't. It is important to understand that what one person my cry at another person may not. However, I am hoping to find a connection as to why people cry when reading books. That brings me to my next part which will be about books that have made people cry. I will discuss what the book was, the part of the book that made the individual cry and what might be the reason behind that person crying at that particular moment. I am hoping that some sort of connection either to themselves or an event that they personally experienced will be the reason why they cried at that particular moment in the book.

I feel that this research is important and one that has to be done. This topic is a hard topic because crying is an emotion that is personal and, more often then not, brought on by an emotion that makes the individual feel uncomfortable. To be put in that place is very hard and hard for people to talk about that experience. However, to get a better understanding of others, humans in general, and most importantly yourself, crying is a subject that must be studied. It will help with understanding and sympathy towards others. It will also be helpful for authors who wish to write a book that will evoke crying. The best works of writing evokes emotions, many times with the release of crying.

Literary Review:

I need to work on this part. I haven't been able to do too much research on the subject just yet.

Method:

I chose to do an interview because it made it more personal and I was able to get more information and elaborations on certain questions. I also chose two subjects of opposite gender because I wanted to see both a male and female's perspective of crying and why they cry when reading. My first subject, the male (G), I did an interview with at a mall because he was very busy and had plans with a friend for that day. His friend was going to wait in a long line so while he did that we decided to go to a remote hallway to discuss his thoughts. I thought this could change the interview in regards to his comfort level, since people walked past to get to their cars and towards the end of the interview Christmas music came on, but he was not affected by this. He was very open and engaged in conversation. He was very detailed and his interview ended up being 1 hour and 26 minutes long. The female subject's (S) interview was in a quiet and closed classroom. We were interrupted, but only at the very last minute so it was fine. Her interview was very detailed as well, but not as much. Her interview was 55 minutes long.

Data: 

There was a lot to go off of with this research because I received so much detail from both subjects. 

Background:
Non traditional families
-Divorced
-No father

Encouraged to express emotions

Role models are focused on the emotions of the person
- More engaged and extroverted
- Live life happily

Childhood reading:

G: liked reading encouraged at a young age
S: didn't like reading until college

Lots of feelings of connection: 

B: (laughing lightly while he is talking) That's awesome. Um so do you remember any that impacted you and can you describe why it impacted you?

G: You mean impacted me as a kid?

B: Yea

G: A lot of the fantasy stuff stuck with me really good. Like uh Harry Potter. Harry Potter was around when I was like 11 12, something like that?

B: Probably

G: That made a real impact on me because you know like he's an orphan and I kind of connected with his feelings of isolation. I was also a huge  loser in middle school and elementary school. I didn't have a lot of friends. I didn't really know how to talk to people and how to connect, at all. Um I used to get picked on a lot. I got into a lot of fights. I lost a lot of fights.

G: but I average like 2 a year. So it’s (pause) this year I’ve been lucky I think. Just my grandma. That’s what lucky feels like. (I felt sad at this point) Um books make me cry a lot. Anytime I invest real emotion into a character and their ups their downs. I feel them every deeply. I personally tend to connect really easily and feel really deeply. So just about anything makes me cry.

B: So like in literature you mean?

G: No just in general. I typically connect with people deeply quickly.

B: Yea Exactly (laughs). So what makes you cry personally? 

S: Um I would say, like specifically or like in movies?

B: It can be specific, I have another question asking about movies, so

S: I can just say if I can relate to something or if I feel bad about something or if I'm really excited about something. A lot of times I cry because I'm stressed out. Because being a student I get really worked up over things, but I've been a lot better with that. I just tell myself you can't stress out over things you can't change, that's what I tell myself all the time so. But when something relates to me or I feel pain from somebody else. I dont' know if that makes sense. 

B: No it does. Definitely. Um I actually have a question, that's actually the next question, like have you cried because um you see others cry even though you weren't personally sad 

S: Oh my gosh yea. Like if my friend starts crying infront of me and it's something that happened with her, I can't help it I start crying too. And I'm like stop don't cry because you're going to make me cry. (B laughs). I like hold my eye and they start laughing because I do that. And I don't want to cry and mess up my make up so it kind of lightens the mood. I feel bad when they cry. It's just upsetting to see.

B: Yea I'm like the same way. Whenever I see someone cry I just I either start to tear up or I cry with them. Sad or happy too. Um can you describe one of those experiences.

S: Where someone cried 

B: Mmhmm. And you cried.

S: Um something happened, something with Christa, let me think about it. And Christa doesn't cry. At all so I think someone might have died in her family and I was there. And all the suddenly she just broke down into tears. And to see her like cry and be vulnerable is very weird for me because usually she is like like strong and like she doesn't show emotion

B: mmhmm

S: So I was like balling my eyes out watching her cry because it was just so emotional to see her so emotional. So I don't know, I think like especially when you don't expect someone to be so upset like even when my brother starts crying, automatically I start crying. Because I never see him cry and like when my grandma passed away and he started crying I was like “oh my god this is so intense.” He's crying so you  know I just started crying. 

B: mmhmm

S: Especially when you're not used to seeing people cry.

Crying and connections in literature (maybe a section based on real life experiences with reading connections?):

What makes you cry in literature? You said-

G: um, yea any type of deep emotional connections like I uh (pause) how do you say it well. Main characters, but not even always main characters, even side characters too sometimes,

B: Can you describe some books that you have read that make you cry?

G: I can. Uh 1984, made me cry a lot. Um black beauty made me cry a lot, still does. The Giver made me cry. Um the velveteen rabbit still  breaks my heart everytime I read it. That story is, (laughing in disbelief) why would you tell that to kids? It’s so

B: I don’t know if if I’ve read that

G: It’s the saddest thing in the world. The kid gets a communicable disease and, totally misprounced communicable, (laughs together) I forget the name of the disease and he is like bedridden and he gets this rabbit and he loves this rabbit so much and he gets better and they have to burn the rabbit

B: Oh cause it has the disease

G: Because it has the disease and it’s such. It’s so fucking depressing

B: aww

G: everytime I’m like what? But he loves it and it’s gone. I’m gonna fucking tear up *CRIES A LITTLE BIT* 33:48

B: awww. You’re crying

G: Shut up

B: It’s okay

G: (long pause as he cries, I feel sad) It’s like why don’t they rub him with hand sanitizer or something that kills 99.9% of germs.

B: I don't think they had it back then.

G: Shut up I know (Still upset) It's still sad.

B: Ok! I'm sorry! Aw

G: It's just ah

B: Is it just like, what do you think that it made you cry?

G: Well I'm crying during your interview so

B: haha yea

G: you got gold

B: (laughs)

G: uh what made me cry. It's just I don't know, I've always felt the need to protect the people and things I care about and it probably has something to do with never having- like we can get into they psychology of it easily. It's not a hard diagnosis. But it's the way I've always  felt. Like I always needed to be strong enough to protect those I love and like the things I care about. And to see someone just fragrantly just disregard just without I I I could never do that like if I really loved something I could never just set it ablaze I just (pause) it's heart breaking to me I don't know

B: Right. Ok. Gotch ya. Ok I have to change this question around a little bit so we'll see. Um when reading do you see yourself as one of the characters? Another character or-

G: (interrupts) I see parts of myself, I'm sorry I should let you finish

B: Or like watching a movie?

G: It's not like watching a movie. Except when watching a movie I”ll still identify traits tha tI share with characters and i'll be able to connect with that. Or how i'd react to a situation. I do the same thing when I'm reading.  I don't think that I'm this character, but I get drawn into it, I am a part of their world. So it's- so this character would react the way I would but so would this character  in this situation and they react in a different way to this. Um so I felt a kinship, I gues is the best way to say it, I felt a kinship  to uh almost the entire main core cast. Which is like 8 characters.  That's impressive to me that there were so many different parts, different aspects of my personality were reflected in so many different characters so that was night.

B: Yea. And that's rare too. Because usually you don't connect with every single character.

G; Well not every single character it's a really really really complex book. There are so many underlining political tides going on in the over stuff and there's subtle mechanization and manipulations that you have to  ponder. So there is a very large cast. But the core, the ones that it all starts being about and then it expands, all reflect different aspects of who I am or if not who I am who I would strive to be.

B: Gotcha. Um ok so what character do you connect with the most? Just be a little bit louder because things are getting a little loud

G: MEH!

B: (laughs)

G; It's a really hard question because I have the last two books but I haven't read them yet because I don't want them to me over

B: (laughs)

G: um like I said there are aspects of my personality and it, depends on my mind set when I'm reading it like soemtimes I really connect with Perrin who is a larger kid who is picked on for being slow but is actually incredibly tactical and intelligent but just always thinks things through way more than like maybe should.

B: mmhmm

G: um and it's just the feeling of- that misunderstanding and inaction. I know that's poorly said.

B: No I understand, I see what you're saying

G; Sometimes I I I'm I'm quiet  and contemplative and if I'm reading the book from that perspective then I really idefnitfy with the fact that I uh I've had my silences interpreted wrong before and uh especially when I was younger um and so if I'm in that mindset that is who I relate to uh. Matt is more who I am. He is an outspoken uh wild drinker gambler

B: Haha

G: Um and he's just he enjoys the company of women. Probably more than he should, especially  where it is written and it's he doesn't want to ever want to be in trouble but he always finds himself in trouble and that is usually who I relate to the most. So I'm gong to say him

B: That's cool.  And um so were the characters believable and what made that well like can you describe what made them believable?

G: I can! Because I know a little bit about writing. (B laughs) Um the way he writes his characters makes them all belevable. Dispite the magic and the inhuman presence of like Trolax and other horribly demony things. He makes the entire thing believeable because he write the characters with subtly and a real cause and effect motivation. It makes logical sense that these people would act they way they act and because of the outside stimulous that are acting on them and it turns what should be a completely unbelieveable story into a very grounded and intelligent  um look at how interactions work um if not for that it would be an outlandish tale but he manages to groudn it and that is what makes a good book in my opinion. IF you can ground a character in real interactions in the way that people really  you know react to certain stimuli  then your story can be about anything and it'll  still be relateable and still be believable

B: Mmhmm. Yea as long as you have that human aspect to it, even if it's aliens

B: That's cool. (paused because it became noisy) Ok um so you cried reading this story. Can you describe-

G: Many times. It's been over the course of twelve books, large portions of days and nights I  have spent pouring over these characters. I've reread them many times um except for the last two which I refuse to read (laughs).

B: (laughs)

G: Um trying to think of specific times that I cried. Um. You have a sort of gandalf-y character uh a female wizard kind of thing that leads the kids off at first. Um one of the other things I reallly like about this paraticular book series is that none of the characters are good or bad, black and white, except for the villians who are specifically serving evil purposes. But everyone else in the world is kind of a mix of both so there is a lot of selfishness that gets in the way of progress and these kinds of- so so her character is kind of this grey grey area. We don't really know what she is doing for the longest time. And she really reveals herself right before she dies. And it's awesome. The emotional pay off is fantastic I cried my eyes out. For like ten minutes I was sobbing horribly. So well written. I cried when the main, the most central character marries the, both of the, his first two wives I think. Um they're best friends and they all agree to it. And the way that they did that ceremony was beautiful to me, not because of poligamists or believe in poligamy but the level of acceptance and friendship in that room was awesome. I've- watching certain characters fall in and out of love, risk their lives, all sorts of things. Again a character that is really well written that you can connect to so easily. Whenever they have any kind of pay off will make you emotional. So very frequently have I been touched.

B: Yea. Do you feel a connection to the character that experienced the pain or heartship or happiness that made you cry?

G: absolutely

B: and what type of connection did you feel?

G: Kinship. Like I said before. It's just- with- obviously not the same way in ficiton especially, um we've experienced the same struggle from a different perspective but we share that struggle. And that idea of a shared experience creates bonds.

B: yea. I think that's very true. Um Do you think you might have reacted differently  if it was a different character who experienced that pain or heartship?

G; Yea I definitely do. If it was a character that maybe I didn't like or I thought, all of his characters are well written but if it had been a character that was less well written I might not have reacted, if it is acharacter I have a dislike for or I kinda think I see what their planning and mechanating on I might be less sad to see them die.

B: Yea

G: than if it's a character I'm less attached to

B: Yea. What do you think makes that connection to that character? Do you, is it the writing? Or do you think it's that-

G: Motivation has a lot to do with it. Why they are doing what they're doing. Um their personality, let's go with that. Their fictional fake personality, haha

B: Yea that's cool. They can- sometimes I think they can be real. (laughs) Um do you, so what made the story believeable for you?

G: Like I said before I think it has a lot to do with the way he writes his characters. Um I also- I've also I I I've always had a weakness for books where the standard fantasy fair? Where there, a young character gets swept up into a bigger world and kind of just flounders until he kind of just gets his footing. And I think that helped me bond with them at first. All those age, like hitting puebrty and maturing, all those analogies that those writers use to the point of triteness, throughout time those still resonate with me. I like coming of age stories.

B: Is it like, maybe because you went through it? Or..

G: Well I everyone has gone through it but it's an especially impactful and emotional time in people's lives and I think it's a really easy thing for people to relate to. That is why there are so many movies that deal with coming of age, stories in general, books, uh spoken word deals with it, music, it's represented in every possible artform.

B: Yea

G: I thinki it's because not only it is something that all people have gone through but it's something we can all- cause there are some things we've all gone through we have mixed feelings about. I think we've all had an interesting time during that and we can all relate to other interesting times. It's a hard time in people's lives.

B: Yea it's true. It really is. It's like finding yourself.

G: Yea and a lot of the stories, especially fantasy stories at their core, when you strip the magic and stuff, a lot of it is finding where you belong and stuff. Especially in the young adult genre it's almost- their entire red letter is that story.

G: Like I said before any kind of book that can grab my attention. Specifically I like protagonists that are flawed. I'm a big fan of spiderman. The reason I like spider man is because it is the first comic book character to ever experience self doubt. Before that, I mean he revolutionized the entire industry, um before that comic books characters were very black and white. This is good, they fight evil. There was no depth or emotional distress. And I like characters that overcome adversity or even if they fail I love when my protagonist fails to meet his goal and just dies. I like that feeling of bitter dispare that comes with that. Characters like that. I don't like one dementional characters I need a deeper more complicated hero. And I do say hero because most of the books I like involve some sort of journey or a struggle against an actual force rather than a mental force. I'm not a big fan of say Metamorphosis, I'm not a big Kophka fan. Even when he does write about actual like actual physical struggle. Metamorphosis didn't do it for me and a lot of people love that book.

G: um personality connections. I know myself really well and I know that I have a very very, more than some people I think, an intensely multifaceted personality. And it's complicated and I like that a person can either portray a part or attempt to portray all of that kind of conundrum that is the human mind  so things like that. Also anyone that fights for women. I really appreciate that. I really really like when characters, especially strong female characters kick the shit out of male antagonist that are abusive. I like seeing that. Probably has to do with my father father, not the one that I currently have now, but

B: ok. Um did you feel like you connected with the narrator? 

S: Yea. Even though he was like a boy and in high school. It's kind of like the same situations that you go through in high school. And it's from his perspective but it was kind of like really realistic and really dead on I think on how young people think and you know. It takes place I think back in the 80s or 90s so it's kind of like an older time, but you can still, like parties and liking a girl that doesn't like you. It's like things that you see in like real life. Reality. Haha

B: Um So what character do you connect to the most?

S: Hmm I would say acutally him. Because he was kinda a little bit, he was in insider, but an outsider at the same time. I dont know if that makes sense. He was like in with the senoirs, like an important crowd, there weren't like losers or like looked down upon, but he kind of just made his way in there but he still just kind of was not like them.

B: mmhmm 

S: But was like them. He was kinda, I dont know 

B: I understand. 

S: He had his own personal views but he was fitting fine into that group of friends which is how I was in high school. I had my group of friends which had all different, you know way of thinking than me, but I was in that group. But I also had my own personal views. I guess that's why I can relate to him.

B: And what made them believeable?
S: I think the way they described things and the way he described his feelings and his assumptions about things. It's like pretty much, I think it's how I used to think about sertain things, like certain situations,parties and I wonder if she likes me. I hope she's genuinely happy. It's just, it's very relatable when there's a lot of good description and like real people. I don't want to tell you too much if you read it, but like the girl like had like real life problems about being you know molested when she was a child. And one of the guys was like a closet homosexual and like just those things go on. And like from an outsiders point of view people don't know individuals struggles in high school, but you know they exist. So it's kind of an inside view of you know things that people go through that people judge you on and they have no idea, you know?

B: and can you describe the parts? 

S; Um I would say a lot of the times I cried was something that was unexpected or like if he got or if he felt any pain. Because at one part of the story he um he gets into a fight with Sam and the whole group of friends don't want to talk to him and the journal entries he's writing is because he didn't have a lot of people to talk to and you don't know who he's writing writing to. But it's to my friend or I dont remember how he labels it. But um he just starts writing a lot more and throughout the- like his whole point of view is like to stop being the outsider, but I forgot the words he used, but to be in. To participate in life, instead of being an outsider. So when he was like struggling thorugh not participating and his feelings of like not having any friends I wish they would talk to me. It made me sad. I was like people shouldn't do that to him. It's like he didn't mean it. I just feel bad for them and I cried at that part. And I cried at the end. And – (both laugh)

B: Um so what type of books do you feel a connection to? 

S: Um

B: like maybe genre or situations

S: Um well I like young adult and I like fiction and I also like non fiction too, like memoirs and stuff. I like seeing things from other people's perspectives because I think that you live in your own mind. You know your entire life so seeing how people go through certain situations in their way of dealing with things and their ideas on life, I don't know, things like that just stick to me 

B: Yea. No I think so too. I like hearing other people's perspectives on things. Because sometimes, your perspective, no necessarily that it's wrong, but sometimes a person that is like from another-

S: idea 

B: has a different way of looking at it 

S: Yea and I wouldn't have known that. I think it makes me more well rounded and you know understanding. And more of like a person I guess (both laugh) I don't know. I just feel like I can relate to a lot of different people now that I read  other people's works and like how they feel about things 

B: Yea and you can like understand where they are coming from more.

S: mmhmm. Yea 

B:Um cause some people can’t.

S: no not at all

Immersed:

A want to stay in the story, the story not to end

Perceptions;

Wanting to understand other's point of views

B: (laughs) Say it with a smile. Does this book ever truly leave you? Like do you think about it?

G; I think about it all the time. I uh any kind of struggle for good verses evil appears in our daily moral struggles in life um but the way that he paints morality is pure gray. It's not even tinted black and white, it's like the deepest gray possible. Um I idon't know it just always sticks with me, you always have to consider everyone else's motivations when you're saying things and that's like the most lasting impression that it's left on me is that it's really. That and when I started reading philosophy like when I started reading plato when I was in middle school I started really really questioning how other people saw the world. Um and even if I didn't understand everything that plato was saying then, not that I do now, that's- you know what I mean? That you can never be truly sure that the way you're experiencing is what someone else is experiencing

B: mmhmm

G: and whenever I think about that I think about this book.

B: yea . I think people need to do that more.

G: The world would be a better place

G: Um I also like books that challenge my philosophy and challenge the way that I think and maybe dare me to expand or to exchange, shift my paradigm in some drastic way. They don't always achieve their goal but I like being challenged mentally so books like that do a lot for me 

Remember not necessarily what happened but the feeling:

B: Um are there any books that you feel like changed your life?
S: Um even though it was a really long time ago and I can’t really remember what it’s about I really like Are you there God it’s me Margret? I read it when I was younger, I think really impacted me. But I remember learning so much because I was a little girl going through so much you know puberity aand all that kind of stuff and I feel like that is such a stressful time for a girl and I felt like that book just made me more like realieved and embracing like feeling like a girl you know and like oh wow other people go through this. And got more in tune with becoming this person 

B: Yea 

S: So I was all into that book for a long time. I always wanted to talk about it (laughs) 

B: No I remember reading that, like you said I don’t remember it that much. But I remember it helped me be like you know? This is okay.

S: Yea exactly and I think  it like makes you feel better. And the fact that I can remember it and like  the name of it and the feeling of what it was is a sign that it kind of impacted me.

B: Yea I think that, I never thought of it that way. Sometimes you, like you don’t remember exactly what the book was but you remember the feeling of it 

S: Yea that’s how I felt

B: That’s interesting.

Analysis:

I need to do this still, but I've found that the each realized they had connections, but there are some unconscious connections, either with feelings or to their past experiences. It is all very interesting. I feel like I can write and come to a lot of conclusions with my data. 

Conclusion: